


final prayers

by tinytonysnark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Hurt Tony Stark, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27471766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinytonysnark/pseuds/tinytonysnark
Summary: Based off the prompt:Hey! Stay with me. Open your eyes,” A snaps fearfully, shaking their wounded friend B harder than necessary. “You can’t do that, you have to stay awake!”B winces and sighs faintly. “Sorry…” they mumble, prying hazy, unfocused eyes open just a sliver. “I…I don’t know why I’m so tired…” It’s a lie. They know they’re bleeding out, but they’re not about to say that aloud.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 19
Kudos: 223





	final prayers

Tony has never seen Bucky panic on the battlefield before. 

Sure, he’s seen Bucky frantically try to hide before Nat came home to find out that he’d eaten the last of Bruce’s lasagna she’d kept aside, but that doesn’t really count considering the  _ only _ option in that situation is panic. 

But now he’s here, lying on the tarmac with his armour in pieces around him and there’s metal poking  _ out _ of his body - which isn’t generally recommended by those in the medical profession - and he wants to relay this brilliant commentary to Bucky - who is above him, yelling orders to the blob shapes in Tony’s peripheral vision but forming words seems to take more brain power than normal.

Bucky’s hovering over him with wide eyes, snapping fearfully at Tony to keep his open - but it’s just so much  _ easier _ to close them - and he’s shaking at Tony’s shoulder - a little bit  _ too rough _ because again, metal rod  _ in _ his body - and that just makes Tony want to close his eyes even more. “Hey! No, no - You have to stay awake Tony! Keep your eyes on me!”

“Sorry - “ he starts after a few failed attempts to get his mouth to move, and he’s prying his eyes open but every blink makes him feel like he's swimming in honey. “I don't know why I'm so tired,” he lies because he knows. 

He knows that he's about to bleed out here on this tarmac. The medics are too far and there's no way to safely remove the rod in time but he's not about to say this aloud to Bucky. 

Bucky, who’s lost so much.

Bucky who once came to Tony - who in all honesty, was avoiding him just a  _ little _ \- and had dropped to his knees to say, “I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” like it had been a death sentence. 

Bucky, who wouldn’t look up at Tony even when he _pleaded_ for him to, so Tony simply dropped onto the floor in front of him and said, “I have nothing to forgive _James Barnes_ for.”

Bucky, who would sit in his lab for hours on end, just reading through Tony’s engineering books or playing fetch with DUM-E. 

Bucky who bakes  _ only _ for Tony whenever asked and who always makes sure that there’s leftovers stored away where Clint can’t get them. 

Bucky who makes him feel like he can  _ breathe _ again and makes Tony’s stomach flutter every time he can get him to smile. 

Bucky, who he’s come to fall  _ in love  _ with over the last 7 months. 

There’s a ringing in Tony’s ears now, muddled through with Bucky’s frantic shouts and all Tony can think before he shuts his eyes is,  _ “Please let him get through this.” _

***

Bucky hasn’t prayed since 1945. 

His last prayer was a solemn mantra in his head as he lay in a snowbank, one arm down and bleeding out. 

_ “Please let Stevie survive this war,”  _ he’d repeated,  _ over and over  _ until he’d passed out. 

In hindsight, he thinks God must have a morbid sense of humour since Steve  _ did _ survive the war only to wake up to another one and he’s here too - but Bucky Barnes exists in fragments now, a before and after story written in blood. 

But sitting here next to Tony’s still figure in the medical bed, his head is bowed in prayer -  _ hoping, hoping, hoping.  _

He’s seen a lot of horrifying things in the last 100 years -  _ caused _ some of them too - but watching Tony dive in front of him only to be smacked into the concrete,  _ unmoving _ with rebar sticking out of him -  _ through the armour -  _ that might be an image he’ll never be able to unsee, another memory to haunt his nightmares - especially so if his prayers go unanswered.

Tony's been flitting in and out of consciousness for the last few days, eyes opening for a few  _ precious _ seconds before closing again and Bucky’s just about at his wits end to see those eyes open  _ fully _ .

Maybe  _ then _ he’ll toss a thanks up to God. 

“Вы не делаете ему одолжений, пренебрегая собой,” Nat says and Bucky ignores the urge to snap at her to get off Tony’s bed, where she’s perched on the edge. 

“Я не оставлю его.”

“The smell alone will knock him back into unconsciousness if he does wake,” she says, tucking the sheets tighter around Tony. “Go, wash up and  _ eat something _ , Yasha. I will alert you if anything changes.”

He hesitates, not taking his eyes off Tony until Nat snaps her fingers in front of his face. “Go,  _ now _ .”

Bucky looks at Tony’s still figure a beat longer before moving to the door, “Send for me immediately if he wakes.”

***

Tony thought the afterlife would be painless. 

The Great Nothing. 

An empty void where  _ he _ is  _ nothing _ , reduced to his essence - back to the earth and to the universe as stardust. 

But that is not what he gets. 

No, even in death he truly cannot rest because every limb, every ligament, every  _ bone _ , hurts. 

He can barely breathe as is, but now every pull of breath feels like fire and his eyes feel like they're being scorched and his tongue feels like  _ lead. _

Death  _ sucks. _

“Don’t strain yourself маленький принц,” he hears from his right and has a moment of wonderment to think that  _ of course _ an omnipresent being of the universe would sound like Natasha before his brain seems to restart itself -  _ painfully _ , at that - and concludes that he is  _ not _ , in fact, dead. 

An interesting development. 

He tries to say something back but nothing comes out and then his eyes adjust enough to see a straw hovering near his face. “Sip,  _ slowly.” _

He sips, eyeing the healing cut Nat has on her upper lip and the gash along her right temple.

She smiles ruefully at him, “We’re all fine. Scrapes and bruises mostly. Congrats, you won injury of the week.”

“I’ll pick up my prize from Steve at the tower,” he manages to scratch out, water dribbling down his chin a little. 

Nat gives a little half smile, wiping the water away with her sleeve. “Well, unfortunately for you, someone else requested the honour to give it to you this time.”

Tony eyes widen and he starts shaking his head, “No, no, Nat you can’t let this happ-”

“Oh  _ yes _ , it’s happening,” he hears from the doorway, Bucky stalking in. “ Наталья , Уходи пожалуйста.”

“No, it’s fine, Nat can stay,” Tony attempts but Nat’s already making her way out, giving Tony an air kiss before closing the door behind her.

Traitor.

“Anthony Edward Stark, if you  _ ever  _ and I mean  _ ever,  _ do  _ anything _ like that again, so help me God I’ll lock you out of your workshop for a month and withhold every baked good in the tower,” Bucky says.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Tony gapes up at Bucky’s glowering face. 

“Oh yeah? Well guess what, I’ll be baking cherry crostata tomorrow and I’m gonna let  _ Clint _ eat the  _ whole damn thing.” _

_ “ _ I - I can't believe you! I save your life and  _ this _ is how you repay me? You - You, James Barnes, are a truly cruel man wh-”

“Yeah, well maybe this cruelty will help you remember that I don’t  _ want you _ to save my life!” Bucky snaps. 

“You don't want me to  _ save your life?  _ So you just expect me to  _ let _ you get  _ impaled?”  _

Bucky sighs, coming closer to the head of the bed. “I want - I  _ need _ you to live, Tony. The very thought of losing you, it’s not something - I can’t even  _ think _ about it,” he says, brushing a lock of hair away from Tony’s face. “So yes, next time just let me get impaled.”

“You - you’re selfish!” Tony shouts, bating Bucky’s hand away.

“ _ I’m selfish? _ I’m  _ selfish _ for taking away the great big opportunity of letting you  _ die _ for me?”

“You’re selfish for thinking it’s okay for you to die and leave me!” Tony shouts, indignantly. “You think  _ I _ don’t need you to live? That you’re the only one who wouldn’t be able to bear it?”

“ _ No!  _ I think that I  _ love _ you and the very thought of you being hurt let alone  _ dead _ because of  _ me _ fills me with an emotion I can’t even put into words right now!” Bucky shouts back and Tony - 

Tony doesn’t think he’s  _ breathing _ and briefly considers that he  _ did _ , in fact,  _ die  _ because - “What did you just say?” 

Tony visibly sees the fight go out of Bucky, shoulders slumping and he runs his metal hand through his hair. “I - I said what I said. I love you, you total moron and I  _ need _ you to live because I  _ can’t _ \- I can’t, okay.” 

Bucky doesn’t meet Tony’s eyes but his posture is defiant, as if daring Tony to ask him to take it back.

Tony imagines his eyes are the size of the moon right now, gaping up at Bucky in shock because that means he - his feelings are -

“ _ What the hell _ , I love you too!”

Bucky’s eyes snap to his, voice a hoarse whisper as if it took a lot of work to get the words out, “ _ What _ did you just say?”

“He said he loves you!” They hear from outside the door, Nat’s voice breaking the stare they were both locked in, unable to look away from each other’s shocked faces. 

“Уходи, Наталья! Или я заставлю вас пожалеть, что вы не слушали эту дверь!” Bucky shouts back and Tony’s breath hitches as Bucky cups his cheek, leaning down to kiss him, gentle and reverent and Tony will deny till his  _ dying day _ that his eyes cloud over a little.

“I love you,” Bucky says into Tony’s mouth and the words feel like ambrosia on his lips. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I contributed to the winteriron fandom! This has been in my drafts for _months_ now so I hope you like it! Sorry if the Russian is questionable, Google Translate is my only friend. 
> 
> Nat: Вы не делаете ему одолжений, пренебрегая собой - "You don't do him any favours by neglecting yourself"  
> Bucky Я не оставлю его - "I will not leave him."  
> Bucky: Уходи, Наталья! Или я заставлю вас пожалеть, что вы не слушали эту дверь! - "Go away, Natalia! Or I'll make you wish you weren't listening at this door."


End file.
